Pedagogical

Learned lady whom you may call Tess

Used to murmur: "It's all but a mess.

Love does not vincit omnia,

Which results in insomnia,

Every rule's to be proved, none the less."

All hail to the town of Limerick

Which provides a cognomen, generic,

For a species of verse

Which for better or worse,

Is supported by layman and cleric.

Take two thousand one ninety seven,

Find cuberoot and add to eleven.

Now divide this by eight,

And get almost by fate

The number of vowels in "heaven".

There once was a scare Y2K,

We worried with it every day.

Time Square's ball did drop,

Y2K was a flop,

We all jumped and shouted "Hooray!"

There was once was a girl who drank gin.

That isn't too bad to begin,

But reiteration

Shows a high correlation

With behavioral lapses called sin.

An amateur driving too fast

from his car to the roadway was cast;

And a friend kindly said

As he bandaged his head-

Mr Cobler stick to your last

Sit vitiorum meorum evacuatio

Concupiscentae et libidinis exterminatio,

Caritatis et patientiae,

Humilitatis et obedientiae,

Omniumque virtutum augmentatio.

In anything written by Dickens,

It's certain the plot always thickens;

With characters, themes

And digressions it teems;

As for sex, though, it's mighty slim pickin's.

Hawking, who makes my head spin,

Says time may flow backward, I grin,

Imagining the surprise

In my mother's eyes

When I head for the womb once again!

A dozen, a gross, and a score

Plus three times the square root of four

Divided by seven

Plus five times eleven

Is nine squared and not a bit more.