Clerical

Here was a bishop of duckingham

Who stood on the bridge at buckingham

Watching the stunts of the cunts

In the punts

And the tricks of the pricks that were fucking em

The vicar was tempted to flee

When the Bishop's wife said after tea,

"Oh Reverend Morgan

Do show me your organ!

It's something I'm dying to see."

Said the bishop one day to the abbott,

Whose instincts were just like a rabbit:

'I know it's great fun

To embrace a young nun

But you mustn't get into the habit.'

There was once a Minister's daughter,

Who didn't like the pony he bought her,

'til she found that its dong

Was as hard and as long

As the prayers that her father had taught her.

From the depth of the crypt of Saint Gilles,

Came a yell that resounded for miles.

Said the priest: "goodness gracious,

Did brother ignatious,

Forget that the bishop hath piles?"

There was a gay bishop of Reading

Who gave good advice at a wedding;

He said "you will find

If you go from behind,

It makes less of mess on the bedding!"

There once was an abbot of Brittany

Who chanted this desolate litany:

"If Christ is the source

Of Divine intercourse,

How come I don't ever gitany."

Said the cardinal to mother superior

"Your singing is just inferior,"

She, not to be crass,

Replied with some class;

"You can bloody well kiss my posterior."

In the garden of Eden sat Adam,

Massaging the bust of his madam,

He chuckled with mirth,

For he knew that on earth,

There were only two boobs and he had 'em.

A pious young lady of Chichester

Made all the pale saints in their niches stir.

And each morning at matin

Her breast in pink satin

Made the bishop of Chichester's breeches stir.