Unsavoury

There was a lady where I'm from,

Who uncontrollably guzzled cum.

She had earned her fame,

Now what was her name?

I believe she was called "your mom."

There was a young lady called Lucky

Whose cunt was incredibly mucky

When told to have a bath

She said " yer having a laugh "

Men love the smell of yucky.

There was a young man from Montrose,

Who had a wet dream, I suppose.

His landlady said,

As she cleaned up his bed,

"That didn't come out of his nose".

That naughty old Sapho of Greece

Said: 'What I prefer to a piece

Us to have my pudenda

Rubbed by the end'a

The rosy pink nose of my niece.'

A naughty old lady of Spain

Decided she'd have to abstain.

But plugging the entry

That favoured the gentry

Excited the lady again!

A broken-down lecher named Tupps

Was heard to confess in his cups:

"The height of my folly

Was diddling a collie -

But I got a nice price for the pups."

A bear taking a dump asked a rabbit

"Does shit stick to your fur as a habit?"

"Of course not," said the hare,

"It's really quite rare!"

So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

My god, Becky, look at her butt.

It's so big, like, look at her strut.

I bet those rap guys

are digging her thighs.

And doesn't she look like a slut?

There was a young man from Newcastle,

Who could wrap himself up like a parcel,

And in that position,

He did a rendition,

Of God Save the Queen through his arsehole.

You may think these limericks are crass

And throw me a comment to sass,

But I will agree

To some degree

And I'll still show you the crack of my ass.