Isaac Asimov

A pious young minister's pappy

Had a sex life, diverse, hot, and snappy.

It shocked his dear son

When he had all that fun,

But it made girl parishioners happy.

There was once was a girl who drank gin.

That isn't too bad to begin,

But reiteration

Shows a high correlation

With behavioral lapses called sin.

Said a certain young man with a grin,

"I think it is time to begin."

Said the girl with a sneer,

"With what? Why, your pee-er

Is scarcely as big as a pin."

There was an old lady of Brewster

Who would mutter, whenever I gewster,

"You're losing the knack,

Or you're missing the crack,

'Cause it don't feel as good as it yewster."

Cleopatra's a cute little minx

With a sex life that's loaded with kinks

Marcus A. she would steer amid

The palms and Great pyramid

And they'd screw on the head of the sphinx.

There was a young woman named Rhoda

As sweet as a chocolate soda.

It was such a delight

To screw her at night

Then once more at dawn as a coda.

There was a sweet girl of Decatur

Who went to sea on a freighter.

She was screwed by the master

-An utter disaster-

But the crew all made up for it later.

To make friends with the lumpish John Ciardi

Needs a spirit uncouth, rough, and hardy.

When in line for a bit

Of amusement and wit—

Did he get it? Why, no, he was tardy.

Upon high Olympus, great Zeus

Muttered angrily, "Oh, what the deuce!

It takes spiced ambrosia

To get the nymphs cosier

And Hera supplies grapefruit juice."

The once-steemed Lady Hortense

Contracted from one of our gents

A social bequest

She passed on to the best

With what we feel was malice prepense.