Bawdy

There was a young lass named Wainright

Who enjoyed the position that a dog might,

Over the should she found

When she looked around

A whole new mean for hindsight

There was a young dentist Malone

Who had a charming girl patient alone.

But in his depravity

He filled the wrong cavity,

God, how his practice has grown!

Hickory dickory dock,

The mouse ran up the clock;

The clock struck one

And down he run;

Hickory dickory dock.

While Titian was mixing rose madder,

His model reclined on a ladder.

Her position to Titian

Suggested coition,

So he leapt up the ladder and had 'er.

There was a young gal name of Sally

Who loved an occasional dally.

She sat on the lap

Of a well-endowed chap

Crying, "Gee, Dick, you're right up my alley!"

A young man who fucks knotholes in trees

Says revenge is his reason, and he's

Had relations with shrubs

Since the best garden clubs

Snubbed his purple and pink peonies.

In the dark, the girl's innocent chum

Misdirected his dick up her bum.

Being told gently so,

The lad piped, "Penis? No!

This is how I've stopped sucking my thumb!"

There once was an infamous hall,

Where there was no gravity at all.

What a glorious feeling

To screw on the ceiling

And to ball on the wall and not fall!"

There once was a fellow from Tripoli

Who liked to make love rather nippily.

Complained one young lass

While rubbing her ass:

"Less teethily, please, and more lippily!"

Said a certain young man with a grin,

"I think it is time to begin."

Said the girl with a sneer,

"With what? Why, your pee-er

Is scarcely as big as a pin."