Bawdy

Well buggered was a boy named Delpasse

By all the lads in his class,

He say with a yawn,

"Now the novelty's gone,

It's only a pain in the ass."

A golfer who came from Calcutta

Had thoughts much too pungent to utter.

When his wife, as he found,

After commencing a round

Was whisking the eggs with his putter

A gal who was always behind

In her chores, said her spouse did not mind:

"My gifts in the sack

Make up for this lack.

I excel at a far diff'rent grind."

When the holy ghost came, say traditions,

Mary acted without inhibitions.

She had God on her side,

And then had him astride,

And in several other positions.

Cleopatra, while helping to hump

Ground out such a furious bump

That Anthony's dick

Broke off like a stick

And left him pump with a stump.

There was a young lady from Thrace

Whose corsets grew tight to lace.

Her mother said, "Nelly,

There's more in your belly

Than ever went in through your face."

A slut named Mary, to begin,

A talented woman of sin

With a nod and wink

She flashed some pink

And said, "everyone's welcome, come in."

On a knoll a young maiden named Molly,

Her innocence lost through young folly;

His name was Sing Chum,

And too soon he did cum,

And all he could say was "I'm solly!"

There once was a lass from Kilkenny,

Whose usual price was a penny,

For half of that sum,

You could finger her bum,

And have money left over for Denny's.

A hot little nurse named Hearst

Got off with a bratworst;

But her pleasure now lies

In non-deli guise

As the interns take turn for the wurst.