Bawdy

There once was a fellow McSweeny,

Who spilled some gin on his weenie,

Just to be couth,

He added vermouth,

Then slipped his girlfriend a martini.

There was a fella named Skinner,

Who took this young girl out to dinner,

Everything was going fine,

And by half past nine,

It was in her, not Skinner the dinner.

There was a young lady from Bugges,

Whose thing was remarkably huge,

Observed Louis Quatorze,

As she lured her drawers,

Et bien apres vous, le deluge.

There was a young girl named Sapphire,

Who succumbed to her lover's desire,

She said "It's a sin,

But now that it's in,

Could you shove it a few inches deeper?"

There was a young man from St. Rose,

Whose love life was so full of woes,

He loved sixty-nine,

He'd do it all the time,

But always got shit on his nose.

There was a young gypsy girl Rose,

With obsessions for gentlemens' hose,

Up her pussy, her rear,

In her mouth and each ear,

And her cute little freckle-tipped nose.

There once was a man named Dave,

Who kept a dead whore in a cave,

She had only one tit,

And smelled worse than shit,

But think of the money Dave saved.

A pretty young maiden from France,

Decided she'd "just take a chance",

She let herself go,

For an hour or so,

And now all her sisters are aunts.

There was a young man from Bombay,

Who shagged 20 chickens a day,

He wouldn't stop fucking,

Till they all started clucking,

Then he'd eat all the eggs that they lay.

There once was a man from Bonaire,

Who was doing his wife on the stair,

When the banister broke,

He doubled his stroke,

And finished her off in midair.