Unsavoury

A new farmer's helper named Kull

Accidentally was milking a bull.

The farmer said: "Boy yer dumb,

You done milk the wrong one!"

Said the boy, "But me whole bucket's full."

Now this old man was a sick'un

He had a dozen hen ripe for the pickin'

He'd chase 'em around

With his trousers pulled down

And he'd say: "whatsa matter? You chicken?"

A spiritual healer named Lee

Ducked in an alley to pee,

He pissed in the eye

Of this blind homeless guy,

Who screamed: " Holy Shit! I can see!"

There was a young man from Rangoon

Whose farts could be heard to the moon.

When you'd least expect 'em,

They'd burst from his rectum

With the force of a raging typhoon.

There once was a man from newcastle

Who wrapped up a shit in a parcel,

He sent it by plane,

With a note to explain

That it came from his grandmother's asshole.

There was a young fellow from Sparta;

A really magnificent farter.

On the strength of one bean,

He'd fart "God Save the Queen,"

And Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata

A man called Percival Lee

Got up one night for a pee.

When he got to the loo

It was quarter to two,

And when he got back it was three.

Be he victim or vandal or sleaze,

He ignores Pete the Park Ranger's pleas:

Not to put on a condom,

Pete says, is beyond him

These days what with Dutch Elm Disease.

A sperm faced his moment of truth,

But alas and alack and forsooth!

He'd expected to fall

On a womb's spongy wall

But was dashed to his death on a tooth.

Two girls, one cup and some poo

Caused an internet hullabaloo.

If you stumble upon it

You're certain to vomit

When you see what those young ladies do.