Kingsley Amis

On Philip Toynbee

One cannot when dealing with Toynbee,

Just pay him back in his own coin be

Cause talking such piss

Would come rather amiss,

And so how would a kick in the groin be?

At the zoo II

When I came back to roger the gnu,

I was scarcely delayed coming through,

And the staff – most polite,

Cried, "please stay overnight",

It's a privilege granted to few.

On Brigid Brophy

The first man to fuck Brigid Borphy,

Was awarded the Krafft-Ebing Trophy,

Plus 10'000 quid,

Which, for what the chap did,

Will be widely denounced as a low fee